jack wars - the last jack

[noobofspades]

you decide to go to the forest
and.....................
you find a manly tank top and some pants to cover your bulging leg muscles

just as your instincts told you, it is extremely spoopy

as soon as you enter you witness the majestic horrors of this land



oh no it's a war unicorn
looks like you wandered into their glade poor you
you can't know for sure but you think it wants to bite off your ears which it thinks are fried eggs which all unicorns love to eat

thanks to staying woke you gain some muscle mass and perception

unfortunately it's just as woke as you are and it won't be an easy foe
or you could also try to reason with it
or get even more woke
(just don't try to use magic on it)
or idk you can do literally anything

Items:
-Nice hat
-manly tank top
-pants to cover bulging leg muscles

Status:
-woke (x1)
-fancy mustache

Skills:
Strength: 1
Perception: 1

[[MSA]JJohny]

cut off his ears

[L0rdCaLeb]

try to use magic against it

[[MSA]JJohny]

delete thread

[Individualizer]

use your woke senses and try and look around for something useful like a weapon or something

[noobofspades]

ignoring the consequences and good advice, you dash at the unicorn, trying to rip off its ears and cast magic on it



the unicorn dodges your attack because it has more speed than you but you manage to grab onto its mane thanks to your strength

foolishly despite all advice, you attempt to use magic to subdue it but not only is your magic skill non-existent, the unicorn dampens it and youre left just looking stupid
so stupid that I wont even draw it

the unicorn begins its epic counterattack
OH SHIT he stuck his horn into your right eye



the blood splatters on your left eye as well. You can't see from it but it's still a-ok
seems like you've gone blind goddamnit well that's what you get
Perception skill has been lowered

that means you can't look around for something useful like a weapon or something anymore
too bad maybe you should listen to advice next time

your vision is highly impaired but you can still kinda make out our adversary
boy he sure is woke now




think very carefully now son
what advice did daddy give you in tough times like these

Items:
- Nice hat
- manly tank top
- pants to cover bulging leg muscles

Status:
- woke (x1)
- fancy mustache
- partially blind

Skills:
Strength: 1
Perception: 0
Magic: 0
Speed: 1

[[MSA]JJohny]

cut the ears

[L0rdCaLeb]

the pope says stand up

[nuclearpotato]

run fast af boiii and get a haircut that is magically longer than the one you have

[noobofspades]

woah how do we get out of this fiasco
youre kneeling on your kneels from exhaustion and pain
knees weak arms flabby
but on the surface youre calm and ready
palms spaghetti
theres vomit on your sweaty
mom is sweaty
because i banged her lmao

anyway


remembering your previous attempts to rip off the unicorn's ears, you devise a slightly different strategy this time
still kneeling on the ground, you feel some of your strength coming back to you

suddenly out of nowhere you hear a big loud ringading
you look around and you realize that the source is a church bell swinging at a far away tower
you dont know for whom the bell tolls but it certainly could be for you



you also notice a figure standing on top of the tower
it's hard to tell but he looks like a priest, maybe even a pope
in any case you just barely detect that he gestures with this hand upwards, beckoning for you to stand up
this could be a mystery worth investigating at a later time

feeling a surge of new godly power you not just stand but jump up and return to the fight
the unicorn's attention got captured by the ringading and has his ear turned towards you
nice
you grab it and quickly tear it off
that was surprisingly easy

[

with the ear in hand you feel that it's only natural that you escape while the odds are still in your favour
with the newly acquired power you run so fast that you kind of break the light speed barrier and because time and space is stretched your hair stretches a bit too, even your mustache that seems to grow stronger with every minute
it's a miracle



you run so fast that you end up circling the earth and stopping at the same spot you started at
really makes you think
also you're now a bit closer to the mysterious tower but the priest pope guy has disappeared
the unicron is gone now too and you are free to continue your journey



Items:
- Nice hat
- manly tank top
- pants to cover bulging leg muscles
- unicorn ear (x1)

Status:
- woke (x1)
- fancy mustache (increased length)
- partially blind (right eye)
- divine mandate

Skills:
Strength: 2
Perception: 0
Magic: 0
Speed: 1

[noobofspades]

Sorry Icarus North, I was already updating by the time you submitted. I can either count your move for next round or you can post another one now.

[[MSA]JJohny]

cut your ears off

[L0rdCaLeb]

go after the priest pope guy to thank him and ask him to heal your eye for 1x woke

[Individualizer]

go to the tower and cover your fucked up eye with something you goddamn freak

[IceCream]

start running careful and silent to the tower