jack

[noobofspades]

You feel a wriggling coming down your face
Your smugness disappears without a trace
Gayness level has fallen to Neutral.
You're not sure what's happening but you hear footsteps and metal clanking approaching

Some random numbers and symbols pop out of nowhere in your vision and there's 3 guys and a robot saying they're on your team.
They give you a shitty gun and some bullets.
Item gained: Shitty Gun
Item gained: 12 9mm bullets
2 guys want to kick the other guy but they seem dangerous so you suggest they don't. They look menacingly at you and the others.
Suddenly they open fire and kill the robot and the poor youth next to you.

You stare at the scene with disbelief.
2 more robots emerge and inform the murderers that they have come to take their place and the fiends are taken away.


Just as you are about to gather your senses, Zeus appears out of nowhere and says that you are meant for greater things than this bullshit game that is only entertainment for the weak and foolish. He banishes you for an entire week into the Void where you will learn the meaning of life.


Current status:
- in the Void
- surprised
- intimidated
- contemplating the meaning of life
- unstrapped suspenders

Current items:
- Shitty Gun (5 9 mm bullets)
- 12 9 mm bullets

[Zekamalikyd]

become a simpler drawing style

[Shia LaBeouf]

this artstyle isnt even ironic or innocent
its just pure shit clearly fitting your person in general

[noobofspades]

You spend a week in the void pondering the mysteries of life, you feel the essence of time and space vanish and become one with the abyss.
Philosophy level has increased to Advanced.


Slowly you begin to realize that you are filled with imperfections. To become ideal you need to let go of your real, materialistic form and adopt a higher level of existence. You feel the void morph you into a new being.


At last, you've achieved perfection. As a circle, you have no edges or corners, your very being is distributed evenly among all fronts, achieving the simplest possible existence in the universe.
Existence lost: real
Existence gained: ideal

After what would seem like a billion years, when in the Void it is no more than a fraction of a nanosecond, you come to the conclusion that the only proper existence is one filled with matter, and not any matter, but the type you once used to consider filthy, to present yourself as a being of perfection filled with putridness. You're filled with shit.

This ying-yang contrast will signify the new world order that you will bring with you after your return to the real world.
Existence lost: ideal
Existence gained: biexistential

Nearing the end of your imprisonment in the void, you apply your biexistential view of the world onto everyday things. Examples of this new world order are a hippy Zeus and hairy guns.

Just as you seem to have finalized theorizing your existential model about the entire Universe, you're warped out of the Void by Zeus, who transports you onto the field you were taken from.


Current items:
None
Current status:
- Biexistential (ideal, shit)
- Advanced Philosophy
- Neutral Gayness

[noobofspades]

retard

well if you think you can fool the people that easily, think again. This was Shia's real move last week:
[18:06:26] <neg> at 11-14 my team consisting of 4 players and a bot (replaced a teamkilling player) voted to kick one guy and votes were 2-1 leaving me to decide
[18:06:26] <neg> i decided to not kick because id be next
[18:06:26] <neg> at 11-15 two teammates (who voted yes) killed the bot and the being-votekicked player respectively getting replaced by bots as well
[18:06:26] <neg> at this point i jokingly F1'd and the last human on my team got kicked too
[18:06:30] <neg> they all got bans for a week
[18:06:34] <neg> i got zeus'ed said gg and quit the game
[18:06:36] <neg> and i got banned for a week too for some reason

[Shia LaBeouf]

that was a story from csgo of some guy named neg
how is that remotely related to this

[nuclearpotato]

SHOT THE BADDIES DADDY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[noobofspades]

Having finally accustomed yourself to the real world once again, you set out on your journey as if nothing happened.

For some reason a voice fills your body with instructions to eliminate all weeds in the vicinity. You apply your extraterrestrial, ethereal powers and annihilate all weed matter into nothingness.



The voice called you flei for some reason, but the more you dwell on the thought, the more it becomes clear to you that what just occurred is only one of the possible space-time parallel realities' projection onto your own reality.



You manage to track the weed destruction to be nothing but an imagination of a guy called neg from the world of csgo. It has no connection or meaning to your own reality so you move on, rolling down the field.



You spot a blood-curdling scene. A devastated criminal with a gun and knife is standing over the corpse of what he says is his father, but he doesn't know who the killer is. You're not sure what to think of this but you know that this calls for an investigation.

[Shia LaBeouf]

play mta

[nuclearpotato]

Rape it Randy

[bloodfox]

woah no wtf dude

[noobofspades]

You suddenly feel the urge to play some MTA in the middle of this chaos.
Fortunately due to your biexistential being you do not need an actual computer to do this, so you simply create the idea of you playing MTA. You feel yourself being transported to previously unknown places.
While you're doing this, the criminal is mourning his father.



Suddenly your MTA crashes and you, thinking you are still racing in some shitty map, are uncontrollably launched forwards, rolling over the corpse and the criminal.



You stop and look at the horrors you have just committed. This will surely haunt you until the end of your days.
Status gained: One case of manslaughter



You hear sirens in the distance, the cops must be approaching.

Current items:
None
Current status:
- Biexistential (ideal, shit)
- Advanced Philosophy
- Neutral Gayness
- One case of manslaughter

[Shia LaBeouf]

the sirens are actually cowboy james on his trusty steed arriving at the stage to meet with his long lost nemesis potifi whom shoots him is the knee and he almost died but suddenly he dodged the bullet

[nuclearpotato]

make lotar rq over facebook
also eurovision is bs straya won wtf !!! >:(

[yoshimi]

don't do anything, for cops wouldn't find a ball of shit suspicious of manslaughter