Copypasta and other related shitposts

[Qewien]

Post Copypasta (A bit like a meme, but copy and pasted around the internet). Please post them in Italics or I will be very mad and do nothing

Example:

What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills --

You must know that one right? Good. Post anything like it.

GO

My Grandfather smoked his whole life. I was about 10 years old when my mother said to him, 'If you ever want to see your grandchildren graduate, you have to stop immediately.'. Tears welled up in his eyes when he realized what exactly was at stake. He gave it up immediately. Three years later he died of lung cancer. It was really sad and destroyed me. My mother said to me- 'Don't ever smoke. Please don't put your family through what your Grandfather put us through." I agreed. At 28, I have never touched a cigarette. I must say, I feel a very slight sense of regret for never having done it, because your post gave me cancer anyway.

[Fleischgeruch]

Korakoff has become a volatile, arrogant kid as of late. He is not who he used to be, and that had a major negative effect on the clan.

[ReubenMcHawk]

So basically concentrating all of the forum's cancer into one thread, nice.